Employment Ads (How to Interpret Them)
‘Competitive Salary - We remain competitive by paying less than our competitors.
‘Join Our Fast Paced Company" - We have no time to train you.
Casual Work Atmosphere’ - We don’t pay enough to expect that you will dress up.
"Must be Deadline Oriented" - You will be six months behind schedule on your first day.
"Some Overtime Required" - Some time each night, some time each weekend.
"Duties will Vary" - Anyone in the office can boss you around.
"Must have an Eye for Detail’ We have no quality control.
"Seeking Candidates with a wide variety of experience’ - You will need to replace 3 people who’ve left.
"Problem Solving Skills a Must" - You are walking into a company in perpetual chaos. Your first task is to find out what is going on.
Requires Team Leadership Skills’ - You will have the responsibilities of a manager without the pay or respect.
"Good Communication Skills’ Management communicates poorly, so you have to figure out what they do
Rules for Clear Communication
Notice in a field: THE FARMER ALLOWS WALKERS TO CROSS THE FIELD FOR FREE. BUT THE
BULL CHARGES.
Message on a leaflet: IF YOU CANNOT READ, THIS LEAFLET WILL TELL YOU HOW TO GET
LESSONS
Sign on motorway garage: PLEASE DO NOT SMOKE NEAR OUR PETROL PUMPS. YOUR LIFE
MAY NOT BE WORTH MUCH BUT OUR PETROL IS
Sign at a farm gate: BEWARE! I SHOOT EVERY 10TH TRESPASSER AND THE 9TH ONE HAS
JUST LEFT.
Notice in health food shop window: CLOSED DUE TO ILLNESS